I'd like to introduce you to my wonderful friend Karen. She has a beautiful Australian accent and travels with me everywhere I go. Karen is always there ready to direct me when I take a wrong turn or when I need to find the nearest Wal-Mart. She never leads me astray...when I follow her directions. Karen is my GPS.
I know what you're thinking.....who is crazy enough to name their GPS? First of all, that's the name of the voice that I have programmed on it. Secondly, nearly everyone I know that has a GPS, has a name for it.
Now that my sanity has been defended, here's the story....
I left the house this morning, running late, as usual. This was no normal day, however. Today I was headed to one of the most important meetings of my life. Today was my volunteer driver training for the Road to Recovery program. If you're not familiar with it, please check it out at http://www.cancer.org/ - and, yes, that was a shameless plug for an amazing community resource. I had been looking forward to this since I got the e mail last week. I've always been involved in community service, but in the last year, I have been more driven than ever. When I first began putting my life back together after my divorce, volunteering was one of the only ways I felt like I had something to contribute to the world.
Even though I was going to be tardy, I was determined to not miss this training. I had every confidence that Karen would find the most efficient route to my destination. Typically, I program the address and only follow directions once I am near the end of my journey. I can get myself in the general vicinity. But today was no ordinary day, so I followed Karen's directions to the letter.
Things started out well enough. Karen was following the standard route I always take. But about halfway there, she told me to turn right. What?? I've never been on this road....are you sure this is the right way? But I did as I was told, assuming that this was a short cut to the other main road that I knew went the direction I was going. We all know what assuming does. This was no exception.
The next part of my trip became a series of twists and turns and changing roads. Normally, I have a great sense of direction. But I had never been on these roads and after a few turns, I had no idea which direction I was supposed to be going....which I meant I had to rely on Karen even more. Dreadful thought.
So I kept following the course Karen had graciously planned for me. When I turned on Back Road, I had a smidge of doubt, but quickly reminded myself that Karen had brought me this far and obviously knew the way. The doubts grew as the road narrowed and there was no center line. My misgivings seemed justified as the landscape changed to cows and barns and corn, but still I marched on. When I saw another main road up ahead, I silently asked Karen to forgive me for thinking she would lead me awry.
The smooth, wide, well-maintained road that I saw was not what she had in mind for me, however. Yet another side road was my pathway. I had resigned myself to a journey through the country, which I would have enjoyed had I not been in such a hurry. I let my mind drift as I watched the rain fall all around me. That's when disaster reared it's ugly head. Somehow in my daydreaming, I had missed the sign warning me about the sharp turn up ahead. I found myself trying to brake without skidding on the wet pavement, struggling to negotiate this sudden twist in the road.
I would love to blame Karen for this near mishap. After all, she was the one who led me down that dangerous and unfamiliar road in bad weather. It was her brilliant idea to avoid all main roads in favor of country lanes. But was it her fault that I failed to see the signs of what was ahead? Could I blame her for the fact that I was so blase about my driving that I ignored the obvious warnings? No, it was not her fault; so again, I apologized and continued on, trusting that she would help me complete the journey.
That's when it hit me that I have exponentially more faith in Karen - who is, after all, only as good as the people who programmed her - than I do in God, my Lord and Saviour, Creator of the universe. How hard that was to admit, even to myself! I never blindly follow God. The conversation sounds something like this....
God: Sarah, I want you to turn right on the next road.
Sarah: God, I've never been on that road, but the one after that comes out near where I'm going, so why don't I just take that one instead?
God: No, it doesn't take you where you think it does....and that's not where you're going, anyway. You have a few stops to make on the way.
Sarah: Stops? What stops? We did not discuss making stops before I got there. I haven't planned for that or allowed enough time. That's going to make me really late getting to where I'm going. Are you sure this is the right way?
God: Yes, I'm sure. I've had this planned for a while. Just trust me.
Sarah: I know...you're God and I'm not...you're the Boss...but I really think this isn't going to work.
Get the idea? I would love to tell you that this is only an occasional lapse of faith on my part. Unfortunately, God has come to accept that this is the conversation we have every time He gives me direction. Sometimes I have to wonder if He didn't help scientists develop things like Xanax due to His frustration over His conversations with me. If I could frustrate Him that much, there's no way people were going to be able to tolerate me without some sort of help.
As my lack of faith really began to sink in, I felt the wave of shame wash over me. God, do I really question you that much? Do I really believe that You would take me down an unsafe road and cause me harm? My heart cried out a thousand apologies and I meant every one of them. How could I think that a kind and loving Saviour that would give up His life for me would then lead me down and unfamiliar path only to abandon me?
So my resolution for tomorrow is to put my GPS faith in the One who creates not only the map, but also the road, for every journey.
I know what you're thinking.....who is crazy enough to name their GPS? First of all, that's the name of the voice that I have programmed on it. Secondly, nearly everyone I know that has a GPS, has a name for it.
Now that my sanity has been defended, here's the story....
I left the house this morning, running late, as usual. This was no normal day, however. Today I was headed to one of the most important meetings of my life. Today was my volunteer driver training for the Road to Recovery program. If you're not familiar with it, please check it out at http://www.cancer.org/ - and, yes, that was a shameless plug for an amazing community resource. I had been looking forward to this since I got the e mail last week. I've always been involved in community service, but in the last year, I have been more driven than ever. When I first began putting my life back together after my divorce, volunteering was one of the only ways I felt like I had something to contribute to the world.
Even though I was going to be tardy, I was determined to not miss this training. I had every confidence that Karen would find the most efficient route to my destination. Typically, I program the address and only follow directions once I am near the end of my journey. I can get myself in the general vicinity. But today was no ordinary day, so I followed Karen's directions to the letter.
Things started out well enough. Karen was following the standard route I always take. But about halfway there, she told me to turn right. What?? I've never been on this road....are you sure this is the right way? But I did as I was told, assuming that this was a short cut to the other main road that I knew went the direction I was going. We all know what assuming does. This was no exception.
The next part of my trip became a series of twists and turns and changing roads. Normally, I have a great sense of direction. But I had never been on these roads and after a few turns, I had no idea which direction I was supposed to be going....which I meant I had to rely on Karen even more. Dreadful thought.
So I kept following the course Karen had graciously planned for me. When I turned on Back Road, I had a smidge of doubt, but quickly reminded myself that Karen had brought me this far and obviously knew the way. The doubts grew as the road narrowed and there was no center line. My misgivings seemed justified as the landscape changed to cows and barns and corn, but still I marched on. When I saw another main road up ahead, I silently asked Karen to forgive me for thinking she would lead me awry.
The smooth, wide, well-maintained road that I saw was not what she had in mind for me, however. Yet another side road was my pathway. I had resigned myself to a journey through the country, which I would have enjoyed had I not been in such a hurry. I let my mind drift as I watched the rain fall all around me. That's when disaster reared it's ugly head. Somehow in my daydreaming, I had missed the sign warning me about the sharp turn up ahead. I found myself trying to brake without skidding on the wet pavement, struggling to negotiate this sudden twist in the road.
I would love to blame Karen for this near mishap. After all, she was the one who led me down that dangerous and unfamiliar road in bad weather. It was her brilliant idea to avoid all main roads in favor of country lanes. But was it her fault that I failed to see the signs of what was ahead? Could I blame her for the fact that I was so blase about my driving that I ignored the obvious warnings? No, it was not her fault; so again, I apologized and continued on, trusting that she would help me complete the journey.
That's when it hit me that I have exponentially more faith in Karen - who is, after all, only as good as the people who programmed her - than I do in God, my Lord and Saviour, Creator of the universe. How hard that was to admit, even to myself! I never blindly follow God. The conversation sounds something like this....
God: Sarah, I want you to turn right on the next road.
Sarah: God, I've never been on that road, but the one after that comes out near where I'm going, so why don't I just take that one instead?
God: No, it doesn't take you where you think it does....and that's not where you're going, anyway. You have a few stops to make on the way.
Sarah: Stops? What stops? We did not discuss making stops before I got there. I haven't planned for that or allowed enough time. That's going to make me really late getting to where I'm going. Are you sure this is the right way?
God: Yes, I'm sure. I've had this planned for a while. Just trust me.
Sarah: I know...you're God and I'm not...you're the Boss...but I really think this isn't going to work.
Get the idea? I would love to tell you that this is only an occasional lapse of faith on my part. Unfortunately, God has come to accept that this is the conversation we have every time He gives me direction. Sometimes I have to wonder if He didn't help scientists develop things like Xanax due to His frustration over His conversations with me. If I could frustrate Him that much, there's no way people were going to be able to tolerate me without some sort of help.
As my lack of faith really began to sink in, I felt the wave of shame wash over me. God, do I really question you that much? Do I really believe that You would take me down an unsafe road and cause me harm? My heart cried out a thousand apologies and I meant every one of them. How could I think that a kind and loving Saviour that would give up His life for me would then lead me down and unfamiliar path only to abandon me?
So my resolution for tomorrow is to put my GPS faith in the One who creates not only the map, but also the road, for every journey.
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