"He loves me in his own way, but his parents weren't loving people so he doesn't really know how to love."
"You just don't understand him. That's just the way he is."
If you've been in an unhealthy or abusive relationship, you've probably used one of these excuses. Or some variation of them. Or a million more. You may have even blamed yourself and said it's your fault because you don't know how to accept love - your parents didn't teach you, no one ever really loved you.
Blah, blah, blah. Nothing more than excuses.
The truth is that, if you are making excuses for your relationship, there is no love. If the sentence starts with, "He loves me...." and continues with a "but....." instead of just a period at the end of the statement, he really doesn't.
Trust me. I learned this the hard way.
Maybe he didn't learn from his parents how to treat someone. Maybe you haven't ever been treated like a queen. I've recently realized that when someone really loves you - really, truly loves you from the bottom of his heart, with every fiber of his being - the whole world will know. He doesn't have to be taught to think of you first. It just happens.
If you have any doubts about whether he really loves you, compare it to the model in I Corinthians.
If the "love" he has for you doesn't line up with this, please ask yourself why you would accept it. You may not believe it now, but you are worth it and you deserve it. God thinks so, too. Let Him be the parent that teaches you how to love and be loved.
No comments:
Post a Comment