On My Own

I think Patti LaBelle speaks for all of us in the song "On My Own". This isn't how it was supposed to be. When we looked at the rings they put on our fingers and said with tears in our eyes, "Yes, I will marry you!"; when we walked down the aisles on our fathers' arms wearing those gorgeous white dresses; the first time we signed something with our brand new last names.... I don't think any of us imagined at those times that this is where we would be.

And yet....

Here I am.

I never dreamed that I'd be moving into another apartment. Alone. Cooking dinner for only 1 person. Alone. Thanks to the fact that Mitzi doesn't have thumbs, I will have sole control of the thermostat and remote. Ok, I didn't mean to be distracted by the perks of this. But even those are hollow victories, reminding me that I don't have to compromise because it's just me. Alone.

I think the key to surviving this phase is to shift focus from the repetitive "on my own", to the end of the song - "I've got to find where I belong again....I've got to learn to be strong again...I have faith that I will shine again....I have faith in me....". Let those lines ring through your spirit and remind you of how far you've come.

Remember that even on your own, you're not alone. I know it feels that way. I struggle with it all the time. In those times when you feel the loneliness closing in on you, trying to suffocate you, know that there is One who sticks closer than a brother (or sister!). I can say with assurance that, though I have failed Him, He has been there even when I didn't realize it. When I thought I couldn't go through one more day of this treacherous post-divorce journey, He was the one there whispering, "You can do it. I'm here."

Divorce may not have been part of God's design, but comforting and encouraging us is. Let Him do His job - on His own - so He can make this new experience of being on your own again easier than you expected.