Curses! Foiled again....

My paranoid side would like to believe that my ex secretly has access to foreign satellites and is spying on me. My realistic side knows he's just not that crafty and the fact that he started texting me a few days after my last post was merely coincidence.



Or was it?



Here's how it went....

My last post was so poetic and full of finality. I was coming to terms with the fact that I would never hear from him again. I should have known better. Just when Miss OCD gets everything put together, Mr. ADD is like Godzilla coming through Tokyo stomping it to bits. Translation: he sent me a text message.

I know what you're thinking....it's JUST a text message. No need for alarm. The problem is this is just another way he refuses to cooperate with what should be. There are rules in life. They are to be followed, not tossed aside with abandon. People don't get to do whatever they want. Once there is an ending, that's it. It's the end. You just don't get to contact ex's whenever you feel like it. It's against the rules of divorce.

I am happy to report that I remained strong and did not give in to the panic that I really felt. I did not let him control and manipulate me. When he told me to drop dead, I simply asked that he not contact me unless he had something important and meaningful to say. When he told me he was going to be in my hometown (I'm still not sure why and fairly certain it was a lie just meant to infuriate me) and told ME not to be near MY family, I didn't give him the verbal beat down I wanted to unleash. I calmly replied that if I am there at the same time, that's his problem, not mine. And then something miraculous happened. I found the inner strength to turn off my phone and just forget it. (Triumphant music starts to swell....think Henry Mancini.)

For the first time in so long, I was the one in control and it felt great. He meant to be hurtful and hateful, but I found the strength and gumption to say enough is enough.....correction: God gave me the strength. I didn't have it within myself. I tried for 3 years to find the strength to stand up for myself, but it just wasn't there. With each day that I let him beat me down, there was less strength than the day before, until I finally gave up trying. But when I gave up and let God fight the battle for me, He made sure I had just enough strength to handle it. You see, he meant that text message to hurt me, to manipulate my emotions one more time, to twist the knife in my back once again; but God stepped in and said, not this time...this time, is going to be different. What was meant to be a stumbling block, God turned into a stepping stone.

The moral of the story: Just because it doesn't follow the rules, doesn't mean that it can't be used to your benefit. Ask the Referee for His ruling before you throw in the towel.