April Fool's Day is amusing to most people. To me it marks the beginning of a tortuous season of regretting bad decisions - well, that one decision - and missing two of the most amazing women ever to grace this earth...my grandmothers. In a ten day span I get to reflect on Grandma & Pappaw's wedding anniversary, the day I became legally bound to the ex, the day he became the ex, and both of my grandmothers' birthdays. That's a lot of emotion to cram into such a small space on the calendar.
When I sat down to write this entry, my intention was to vent some of that emotion that I haven't had a chance to process this year since I've been ill. Instead, I am making the conscious decision to celebrate the great and wonderful memories that I have. There's no point in dwelling on the mistake that I made. It's done. I lived to tell about it, which is more than many women can say. Focusing on the pain of the last day of being Mrs. L only grants him more emotional importance than I am willing to grant him at this time of my life.
What I do have are two strong, caring, compassionate women that I was blessed to have as grandmothers to whom I can pay homage. It was my incredible privilege to know them as people, not just as "Grandma". As I was growing up, much of my time was spent in their kitchens learning to cook and listening to stories about when they were little girls, when they were young mothers raising my parents. Thanks goodness I took the time to hear their wisdom, even though I didn't understand it at the time. Those tidbits were filed away and when I needed them, there they were. Grandma had already told me the answer to the problem years before it came along.
This writing session started out as a pity party for me. Instead, I'd like to put that aside and say how thankful I am for every single day that I spent in the presence of my remarkable matriarchs. Without them I would not be the person I am today; I would not have made it through the trials that life has brought my way. The lessons I learned sitting on their knees have been some of the most valuable I could ever learn. My grandmas are just one more example of how God provides for me before the need appears. Thank God for grandmas, especially mine.
