When my cousins were little, they loved to play the board game Guess Who! One day Rachel decided to persuade her older cousin Dennis to play with her. The object is to ask the other person questions about their person such as what color hair, what color eyes, until you can narrow the choices and guess which game character they chose.
Unfortunately, no one told poor Rachel that Dennis is color blind. Every time she would ask something like, "Does your person have blue eyes?", he would inevitably answer, "I don't know." This went on for quite a while until she accused him of cheating - and as we all know, there's nothing worse than being accused of cheating by a 5 year old.
For much of my life, I've felt a lot like Dennis must have felt playing that game with no way to answer the questions. Oh, I know that I have red hair and blue eyes. It's all the other stuff I've had a hard time figuring out. There are so many things that I assumed about myself because other people assumed it about me. I'm a priss, so I must not like camping. For years I've said I don't even though I've never tried it. I'm a redhead, so I must have a temper. OK, so that one is true.
I let myself go through life afraid to try anything because of all the what ifs that might happen. Besides, I couldn't try it because I had already said that I didn't like it. In order for me to find out, I would have to admit that I didn't know then go and actually try it. Difficult, yes. Impossible, no.
When Mr. Ex/ADD and I were still trying to work things out, my dad gave me the best advice. He said that we both needed to figure out how we liked our eggs. For those of you who have seen the movie "Runaway Bride", you get it. Julia Roberts' character went along with every guy she had dated and ordered eggs the same way he did. She had no idea who she was or what she liked.
Turns out I like scrambled eggs, omelets, quiche....eggs most any way as long as I'm not eating them with Mr. Ex. But I digress....
Once I figured out who I was and where I was going, yes, it was time for Ex & I to part ways. I was tired of always being wrong and only seeing all my imperfections, which was his focus when he looked at me. But it wasn't who I really was. He didn't know me at all. But then, I didn't know me either.
Sometimes I feel now like I'm a completely different person with Luke than I was with Mr. Ex. Maybe that's true. I like to think of it this way - when you're with the right person, he brings out the very best in you so that you are the best possible version of yourself. He is like a spotlight shining on all the wonderful qualities that are you so that the flaws don't matter as much.
Only in that loving spotlight will we learn to shine like the gems we truly are meant to be and know who we really are.
