Change is scary. This is an absolute, irrefutable fact. Well, it is in my world. Routine means safety. It also means that you'll never have anything different than what you already have.
Some changes are forced upon us; some we choose. I didn't choose for my ex to leave me. I did choose to remain strong and survive it. But it's not enough to just survive. Therefore, I've made some changes of my own.
Over the last few months I've not had much time for blogging because I've been occupied with remodelling my life. My new apartment is great. OK, the neighbor situation is less than ideal, but no place is perfect. Tomorrow I start a new job. I'll finally be working in the field I want to study. That means no more crazy stories about insane guests' phone calls...and a regular Monday through Friday schedule. Hallelujah! I've been delivered from customer service! The new relationship - not so new anymore - is more amazing than I know how to express. I've never felt so loved in my life. The pedestal is a little intimidating at first, but really great once you get used to it.
Preparing for the first day of my new job has made me reflect on all the transformations in my life over the past few years. It broke my heart when he left. But if he hadn't, I wouldn't have what I have now. The pain of my marriage failing is nothing compared to the pain I would have endured to keep it. I think of how miserable, how excrutiating every day was and I can't believe how blessed I am. The day I drove here to start my new life, all I could see was the end of my old one.
Change is scary. It's also inevitable. As long as you hold on to what you have, you'll never be able to welcome anything new into your life. And the new things are sometimes better than you could have imagined.
