We all know someone like this. She drives us crazy. We avoid her phone calls and dodge her in the grocery store because we know it's going to be the same conversation. She is going to whine and complain about her boyfriend/husband - current or ex - who is making her life miserable. She's going to ask for our advice and then not follow it. We've told her a million times to dump his sorry cheating butt and, yet, she continues to put up with it.
This week, I am sorry to say, I realized that I am that woman. Here's the story....
I woke up to a peaceful day off - no plans, no errands. I was free as a bird all day. The sun was shining. Birds were singing. Ok, that part was only in my head, but you get the picture.
Dark cloud, thy name is ex-husband.
An incoming text from him immediately sends my mood plummeting and my blood pressure sky rocketing. On a better day, I would have ignored the sarcasm. That day, my fingers did not obey my better judgement. Instead they gave in to the anger and resentment and fired off a scathing response. It was all downhill from there. That rejoinder lead to a volley of texts about why we are no longer together and why things didn't work. I would love to report that it ended with answers and resolution; but, alas, no. It ended the way it always does. More questions than explainations and lots of tears.
As if it weren't bad enough that I gave in to that impulse, what followed was worse. I immediately e mailed my best friend to tell him all about it. He's told me countless times to ignore any texts from the ex and reminded me that they only lead to pain and crying. Do I listen? Heck no. When he tells me that I deserve better, do I believe him? Not a chance. Do I continue to run to him crying and whining every time I get hurt because I did exactly what I shouldn't have done? You know it....every single time.
In the end, if we are really completely honest, we have all been that woman from time to time. When we aren't stumbling down that road ourselves, we all think that it will never happen to us, that we are somehow immune to that particular variety of blindness. Realistically, we will at some point be afflicted by it. So the next time that woman comes crying to you, maybe you could cut her a little slack and try to understand the pain that would cause a person to keep repeating the same pattern. Be a little gentle with her because she is you. She is all of us.
